Paradise By Way of Kensal Green

Joining us on the quest this week were newcomers, or Quest virgins, Suma and Natalie, as well as old heads Nick and Sue, David and Jonathan, Claire, Melinda, Francoise and yours truly.

Arriving early due to a fortuitous bus ride (the number 18) we took a seat and enjoyed the large, airy, duck egg blue bar area, complete with portraits, leather couches and arm chairs, fake bookcases, and taxidermy. A glass of rose and pint later and we had been relieved of £10.10. A staggering amount for a round, and my wallet started digging a tunnel out of my jeans, a-la Shawshank Redemption, to escape a further drubbing.

Walking through the ample dining area to our outdoor table we overheard the staff state that they had 83 seats booked for lunch.

Outside there were three tables, two large and one small. We took a table that was ample for 9, a squeeze for 10 and would have been far too cramped if the original 12 had materialised.

The menu

The menu

The food

Appetisers - left to right (Gespacho – Claire, beetroot salad – Natalie, Sue, crab – Darren, David, oysters – Nick, Francoise, tuna tartar – Melinda, Jonathan)

Main course – (left to right – roast chicken – Claire, Jonathan, Natalie, Francoise, Sea bass – Nick, Nut roast – Sue, melinda, vegetarian roast chicken – Suma, beef – Darren, lamb – David)

Dessert (left to right – Ice cream  - Claire, Suma, Knickerbockerglory – Melinda, Creme Brulee – Sue, STP – Natalie, fruit salad – Nick, Gooseberry Eton Mess – Darren, David)

Thoughts and Observations (Collective and individual) 

• There were no more than 25 people fed. Not the 83 eavesdropped earlier.
• Darren’s initial thoughts: huge space, expansive bar area and dining area, three tables outside. Leather couches inside, and in snugs off the main bar.
• Overly expensive drinks. £10 for a Becks and glass of rose.
• The style they are going for is “happy Gothic.” (Melinda)
• We had a spunky waitress, but it was like she was the warm up act as once she was gone we were left with wishy washy service.
• Suma’s Pimms, ordered instead of a starter, took ages to come.
• The tuna tartar came with a raw quails egg on top. This was not on the menu and, when asked, they replaced it for Jonathan.
• Jonathan asked for bread with his tuna tartar. This did not come until after we had all finished our starters.
• As per other reviews of Paradise, there are no steak knives. The meat was luckily of a tender nature, meaning the spreading knife I had allowed me to cut around the fat off my 3/4 inch slab of beef. (Darren)
• The Yorkshire did yield to the fork. (Darren)
• The beef came medium/well, was large, but fatty. (Darren)
• Sound of silence when the meal came, was proof positive that people were hungry. (Melinda)
• Incense sticks in the toilets were a nice touch. (Darren)
• Lots of left over food after the main. No one seemed to like the red cabbage with raisins.
• It was alright. Disappointed with the roast potatoes. (Suma)
• I was full, despite only eating half my main. Dessert was good, it was good to have gooseberries, and my suggestion of a gooseberry Eton Mess (tweeted two weeks ago) worked well. (Darren)
• Crab starter looked quite unappetising (Darren described it as cat sick) but tasted okay. It was quite lemony. (David)
• Main was roast lamb and quite overcooked. Did not enjoy the vegetable selection. (David)
• The Eton Mess dessert saved the day. (David)
• Starter is ok(ish) (Jonathan)
• Veg slightly overcooked. Main course was nice. (Jonathan)
• Oysters were near perfect. (Nick)
• Sea bass was delicious. Tasty sauce. (Nick)
• Fruit salad had many portions of fruit in a brandy snap case, accompanied by lovely passion fruit sorbet. What a fab dessert! (Nick) Made 3 great choices on menu.
• Really nice place and food to match. (Claire)
• First time I have tried gespacho and liked it, although there was too much for me. (Claire)
• Chicken main was really tasty but strange red cabbage was weird. (Claire)
• Yummy vanilla ice cream. (Claire)
• Pretty good surroundings, although melted outside. (Natalie)
• Goats cheese salad was simply lovely. (Natalie)
• Chicken roast was very nice and large portion. (Natalie)
• STP was amazing! (Natalie)
• Lovely decor, and friendly, but absent minded, service. (Suma)
• The roast chicken was good, but the trimmings were a little disappointing. The potatoes were dry. (Suma)
• The dessert of pistachio and vanilla ice cream was yummy. (Suma)
• Love the decor. (Melinda)
• Sadly, the table had an unfortunate proximity to the ladies, so we had whiffs of the latrines. (Melinda)
• Wasn’t busy and lacked a vibe, but loved the decor, in particular the birds in the cages. (Sue)
• Service was okay, but from so many different people, no consistency with staff but they all knew where we were and what we were eating. (Sue)
• Oysters were good. Was all okay. It wasn’t Veal Stew all the way. (See last week’s The Eagle). I didn’t lick my plate. The chicken was okay. (Francoise) I was in no way disappointed, but in no way enamoured. The waitress was nice, the bathrooms were clean. Bar staff let me sample rose, which was nice and isn’t done here.
• If they had the Veal stew, and the place was more homely, and needed a Dyson Airblade to take me to happiness threshold. (Francoise)
• Sultanas in cabbage (universally disliked) was a no-no. (Sue)
• Roast potatoes were poor. Yorkshire was good. (Sue)
• Found it good that there was the option of vegetarian veggies cooked in veggie oil rather than beef dripping, there was also a non-beefy gravy too. (Sue)

Scores on the doors

Afterthoughts

Looking back at our visit to Paradise By Way of Kensal Green it was a real mix of good and bad. We all had highlights, which is better than someone being fully negative, and Nick clearly had his best roast Quest so far. The pub itself was great, light and airy, friendly staff, the American by way of Warrington was a huge hit at the beginning. The place was nice to look at, with a large dining and bar area that expanded outside and into snugs. The food was hit and miss. There were epic failures in the veg – how can you ruin a roast potato? Red cabbage and raisins are a no-no.

I could see that, if it wasn’t so hot members of the team melted like Crayola crayons on a radiator, and if all three courses were a hit then it would have been a high scoring venue – but it just didn’t work out like that. A good try, but ultimately average at best.